Pictures For Our Children
Why we as parents should be in front of the camera.
I was talking to my girls today about their Grandma, my Mum.
It all came about as we discussed my daughter’s hair. She takes after my Mum and sister for beautiful thick hair, that takes an age to dry and is too heavy to hold a curl.
She asked what my mum was like when I was growing up. And as hard as it is to admit – I struggled. I could tell her about how my mum used to pick me up from school and we would talk all the way home about what I had done that day. I explained how I used to sit and watch her get ready to go out, the smell of her perfume and the constant hissing sound of the gas canister in her curling wand thing (obviously that is its technical name lol).
But of everything I could remember I couldn’t picture her face. Strange as it sounds – I know what she looks like. But when trying to reconstruct her in my minds eye, I couldn’t see her face. I remember how I felt and certain events, I remember crying and yelling at her and she just took it all and hugged me when I had finished. But I can’t picture her face.
I love my Mum and I am so fortunate to have her as part of my life. I wish though, that I had something that shows how she looked as I grew up. I wouldn’t care how her hair looked or if she wore makeup. I wouldn’t care what weight she was or how on trend her clothes were. I just wish I could see her again. Unfortunately, there are not many pictures because she was always behind the camera.
Sometimes we get so
blinded by one thing that we lose sight of everything else. And that
happens when you have kids. I already knew that I had lost sight of
me when I became a mother – its part and parcel of it, isn’t it? But what I had
failed to consider was the impact that would have on my daughters.
I know that my daughters will know what they looked like growing up, there are literally thousands of photos on my phone and computer (I am getting them printed but that’s another blog about another project). But unless I get in front of the camera, they won’t know what I looked like. They have already forgotten that I once had dark brown hair. And I know I am aging, time is taking its toll. I find myself looking at photos from years ago and the flaws I saw then are not so apparent. But I can’t go back and tell myself to take more pictures. But what I can do is take more now. Be honest with how I look and embrace it.
If I want my daughters to have photos of the real me to cherish in years to come, when I am no longer here. Then I must stop hiding and give them that gift for the future. I know I am one of the most important people in their lives. I know that they love me and see me as beautiful (they tell me often enough).
So for them I will face my demons and get in the photo with them. I will do that for them, the future them.
Lets do this for our
Best Wishes - Louise